Why You Don’t Reach Your Goals & How to Guarantee YOUR SUCCESS
YES, you can!
In my last post, I challenged you to be the HERO of your own story, to transform yourself from who you are now to who you want to be, and I described how we are all on our own Quest, to journey from wherever we’re starting, to the top of the Mountain of our most-deeply desired dreams.
Well, like any good book, obstacles will most certainly get in our way. We’ve all encountered them before. From the lead that didn’t materialize, to the pitch that didn’t land, to the friend who turned out to be a frenemy, to the new diet or fitness plan that was derailed by our Thanksgiving/Christmas feast.
These obstacles all seem to come from outside of us, and a lot of times we cannot help but face one obstacle after another, due to no fault of our own. But, we have more agency than we might think. We may not be able to choose what happens to us all of the time, but we can choose our attitude in any given situation. And much of time, how well we tackle and bounce back from an obstacle depends entirely on the thoughts we think.
Problem is: Our thinking’s often clouded by Limiting Beliefs.
I’m not good enough.
I just can’t do it.
I always make mistakes.
There I go again.
When will I learn to stop doing that?!
I wish I were more like them.
I’m too shy. I just don’t know what to say.
I’m too extroverted. I don’t have a filter. I just blurt whatever out.
Ugh, I’m a failure!
I’ll never find someone.
I have to be perfect.
I have to achieve to be worthy.
I’m just not lovable.
S/he’s too good for me.
I just have too much baggage.
Money’s the root of all evil.
I’ll be set when I’ve got $1 million.
If only I had that house/car/gadget, then I’d be complete.
I’m too young and inexperienced.
I’m too old. I’m past my prime.
I don’t have time to go to the gym. Might as well eat a bag of Oreos and binge that new series on Netflix.
Do any of these sound familiar to you? (Let me know in the comments.)
These thoughts might be mere whispers, or they might run so rampant they’re shrieking like a banshee in your ear. Either way, they stop you from doing the things you most desperately want to do.
Maybe they halt you from applying for that promotion. Maybe they stop you from giving that sweet barista your number, no matter how many times s/he smiles at you. Maybe they tell you to eat the last donut, because you’ve eaten this much and you wouldn’t want them to “go to waste”; after all, Mom and Dad always told you to clean your plate. Or maybe they make you postpone a task until next Monday, when it’s only Thursday, because that makes the most sense “to get a fresh start.”
If any of these resonate with you, or you can think of many others off the top of your head…
NOTHING’S WRONG WITH YOU! You are HUMAN!
You’re just like me and, while what limits me might not limit you, and vice versa, it’s perfectly NORMAL for us to have a myriad of Limiting Beliefs.
But normal doesn’t meant optimal or even efficient.
Normal doesn’t mean we want to keep the status quo, and allow our minds to run amok that way.
Why should we? When we can vanquish these thoughts and step into our power?
The Problem is, Limiting Thoughts are Sneaky *uckers
Limiting Thoughts shift us off the path on our Quest. But they don’t always move us away from our Goals like the obvious obstacles that they are.
Since they don’t appear outside of us, like a Dragon or a Demogorgon (if you love Stranger Things like I do, Limiting Thoughts are harder to identify as something separate from us. So it can be easy for us to slip into over-identifying with them. We simply listen to their whispers too easily, accepting what they’re saying without questioning if they’re true.
That can be fatal. It can spell death for our Goals. Because Limiting Beliefs that go unchecked can gain momentum. They can make us give up far too soon, or even stop us from trying.
They’re insidious that way, because our thoughts and beliefs are always with us, in our minds, affecting and changing us.
And when Limiting Beliefs compile one on top of another, they can morph into more than a vague sense of dis-ease. They can give rise to anxiety, depression, and numerous diagnosable mental and physical ailments and illnesses, that manifest throughout our bodies.
In other words, Limiting Beliefs aren’t just some ephemeral, weakly whisper that can’t bend or break us. No, if we don’t dispense with false beliefs as soon as they arise, each and every time they begin to take shape, they can derail us, like Wraiths blocking our way to the Mountain, sucking away our power, stealing the energy and life force inside of us. Not head-on, but from the shadows, deep in the recesses of our brain.
That’s why…
THE MOUNTAIN YOU’RE CLIMBING IS MOSTLY IN YOUR MIND!
The Mountain you’re climbing to reach your goals isn’t just ahead of you on the horizon. No, the Mountain you’re climbing is mostly in your mind!
And, you’re not alone. For years and maybe even decades, Limiting Beliefs have cast a spell on all of us, whether we’re aware of them or not.
Indeed, we are all operating on Limiting Beliefs, both conscious and subconscious — no matter how far along the journey we are on — and that’s how it will be, likely no matter how enlightened we become, because that’s what we are (human) and that’s the nature of life (obstacles will come and go, and the only thing that’s constant is that nothing is).
What makes one person a HERO and another person not, is simply the decision to FIGHT.
WORDS Are Our SUPERPOWER.
What are the weapons we can use to stop our Limiting Beliefs, before they shape-shift into soul-sucking, disease-inducing Wraiths? How can we banish them, one by one?
WORDS.
Now you might be thinking, “What the hell, Marisa! You just finished telling me what a formidable foe these Wraiths can be, and you want me to slay them with some measly WORDS?!”
My answer to you is, “YES!”
As an Author and Attorney, I believe and trust wholeheartedly in the power of words. Words have the power to shape the mind, to birth revolutionary ideas, and to change the world.
On the micro, they can express love, belonging, and camaraderie; or, they can forcefully shun, ostracize, and reject.
On the macro, they shape the very constructs of society, defining precisely who deserves to have rights and protection, and those who do not.
In other words (pun intended), the way in which we wield our words can transform them into our armor, shield, or blade.
That’s why WORDS are our greatest weapon; they’re the ammo that can stop Limiting Beliefs before they gain momentum, before they become Wraiths.
Words can blow the smoke out of our eyes, to clear our vision and see each and every Wraith for what it truly is: JUST A THOUGHT!
“Wraiths” Are Just Thoughts We Can Reject & Reframe
In a world full of people struggling to overcome the Limiting Beliefs in our heads, we must remember the power of words to shape, dispel, and repel any thought.
Indeed, words are so powerful, they affect absolutely everything in your life. The words and thoughts you think shape exactly who you are, because they define what you THINK you deserve.
Which affects precisely what you will DO.
Which, when repeated enough, ultimately defines who you can actually BE.
The VICTUS Solution: Think. Do. Be.
The solution is simple, but not easy.
1) We must use Better Words to challenge what we THINK.
2) We must change what we DO.
3) We must make the choice, for each and every Limiting Thought we think, to use the most powerful words in our arsenal to reframe them as they arise. Right away. Then, repeat, repeat, repeat. And, with enough repetition, it’s GUARANTEED: we will change who we can BE.
That’s why, each week, we will be putting this into PRACTICE. Because THINK-DO-BE is a critical component of the VICTUS Method, and we’re not interested in a one-time win. No, we want long-term success. Our goal is not only to get to the top of the Mountain, but to stay there, build a Castle, and make it our home. We’re in it for the long haul.
And the VICTUS Method is more than a one-time practice, it’s a sustainable LIFESTYLE we can use to achieve all of our Goals, as we shift and change through all the seasons of our life.
So let’s learn the science behind it all, and actually put it into PRACTICE.
Because we have to walk the walk to fix our talk.
So grab your gear and lace up those boots. In my next post, we’ll be diving deep into the science.
THINK. DO. BE.
Together, I know we can beat the Wraiths. Into the void, we’ll banish them.
Get ready to cast them out!
Thanks for sharing Marisa and reminding us that: "Problem is: Our thinking’s often clouded by Limiting Beliefs."