How to be Happy when Who You Are is NOT Who You are MEANT to be.

Take the time to listen to your inner voice. That's the truth, waiting for you.

“Who are YOU? Be brave. Question who you are. Then, ask who you are meant to be.” — The VICTUS Method

From the moment you’re born, so many voices start to whisper in your ear.

As soon as you’re old enough to express yourself, you’re asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Perhaps you wanted to be a teacher, a policeman, a writer, a gardener, a programmer, an artist, a doctor, a firefighter, a lawyer, an engineer, an astronaut, or a chef.

Once upon a time, you might have loved learning all of the different names for the dinosaurs. Or become obsessed with identifying the stars and constellations twinkling across the night sky. Maybe you loved art and its free-flowing messiness, or the feel of soft supple clay, squeezed between your fingers. Perhaps baking pies and decorating cakes were your favorite, and you loved to roll the dough across your kitchen counter top.

Early on, you likely considered many options, like clothes, easy to change, different from day to day. Because there was time to think and explore and reflect. You probably spent many afternoons, letting your mind wander, watching the clouds drift along the horizon, as the sun kissed your small, round face.

Maybe you picked a favorite when you were in grade school, but you went through another three options by the time high school came around because, most likely, your interests had changed.

Then somewhere along the line, someone — perhaps a parent, teacher, or college advisor — told you, in no uncertain terms, that you had to choose. You had to make the monumental decision to finally decide, once and for all, what you wanted to be. Time was up. And the time to grow up was now.

“What do you want to be?”

Who actually answered that question?
Was it really YOU?
Or was it your mom or dad?
Were you parroting what someone else told you to say?
Or mimicking what your friends wanted to do?

Looking back as an adult, can you honestly say, “I got it right”?

Did your expectations align with your experience?
Or, was reality nothing like what you expected?

Did you choose one profession? Or many?
Did you stay within the confines of your education and training?

Or did you venture out, to embark on a different path?
Did you switch gears to explore something new?

Did you listen to the voice within, urging you to go for your dreams?
Or did you lose your voice?
Were there other voices drowning yours out?

Perhaps the loudest voices told you to do the sensible thing, to choose a profession that would earn a substantial income and offer you stability and respect.

In the pursuit of that, maybe certain opportunities weren’t recommended.

Maybe they didn’t want you to be a starving artist, so they dissuaded you from spending so much time doing art.

Maybe they were acutely aware that doctors were well-respected and highly-paid, so they pushed you to go into medicine.

Or they enjoyed watching you perform, but being an actor would be untenable, so they guided you away from the stage, and urged you to apply to journalism school instead.

Or maybe none of these were options, because you were expected to run the family business. There was no other option than that.

Whatever the path, what was the result — for YOU?

A fragmented Self.

A Self where only certain aspects of ourselves were valued. Just the parts that gave you money. Prestige. The ooh’s and ah’s of approval that’s given by society and our families.

And everything else falls by the wayside. The artist in you fades. The singer who loves to perform disappears into the shadows. The writer merely dabbles in the margins.

We think the path’s already been chosen. So, like zombies, we walk, only half-alive. We find it easy to slip into silence. To let ourselves go mute.

“It’s better this way,” we tell ourselves.

We didn’t (and still don’t) want to disappoint anyone.

So we devote all our time to it. Hour after hour. Day after day. Doing the tasks that are assigned, that are required, by everyone else.

Tasks pile up and, with the pressure to perform, to be accepted to college, to get the job, to earn that promotion, to rise up the ranks and build that nest egg, it becomes increasingly difficult to center oneself, to hear the voice that’s inside.

How often do you ask yourself, “How does this make me feel?”

Maybe you don’t entertain the thought.

Maybe you’re just too busy. There are simply too many things to do.

Not only career-wise, but you’re dating, or you’re getting engaged, or you just got married.

You’re renting, then trying to buy a house. Then you got that mortgage, signed on the dotted line, and rushed to fill that house with stuff.

You’re having kids. Carpooling to games. Making sure to raise them right. To teach them more than their words and numbers. To instill proper values. To teach them how to be successful.

And there we are. It begins again.

The cycle is never-ending.

I don’t say this to fault our loved ones or to make anyone “wrong.”

For the lucky, their advice might have been a subtle, gentle invitation to explore our strengths and discover what career best suited us.

But, for others, the “advice” might have been compulsory, an order, with the direct or subliminal message: “You will do this, or I won’t love you. This is the only way you can earn my love.”

The wrong path might’ve been mapped out for us from the beginning.

Or, it could’ve gone sideways when we were older, when we joined the rat race and our employers became the loudest voice in our ears.

And when everyone else is climbing the ladder, we do it too, because that’s what’s expected. “That’s just what you do.”

Regardless of how we got here, for our own sake, it’s worth asking the question:

Are you doing what’s best for YOU?

That can be tough to answer.

When other people’s voices clutter our mind, we lose the ability to hear our Self.

We lose our connection to the deepest parts of ourselves.

We compartmentalize.

We shatter.

We separate from our Self.

Until we can no longer tell who we are.

We forget that we matter.

We don’t give ourselves the time to answer questions like:

• Am I fulfilling my purpose?
• If I do this, am I on the path to my dreams?

Nor do we give ourselves time to just play.

We don’t wonder:
• Does doing this bring me joy?
• What creative activities do I want to explore?

Even if something doesn’t make us loads of money or make us famous or well-regarded among our peers, do we make time to do it anyway, for the joy and happiness it brings to us?

We can’t afford to ignore these questions.

If we do, we’ll all end up in the same place: Living a life that’s inferior, where we’re less than what we could have been. Doing what we were not meant to do.

And, one day, we’ll all be dead, never having lived. Not truly.

But it’s not too late!

There was once, and still is, you.

Just you.

The little girl or boy that you once were, playing with toys in the sandbox, swinging on the swings, watching the blades of grass waving in the afternoon breeze.

We just have to realize: as long as we are alive, we still have time.

For swinging without a purpose.

For hiking to see where the path leads.

For watching the birds and imagining where they might be coming from or flying to.

For making things with our hands.

And dreaming with our hearts.

Let’s be brave.

Let’s pose the right question:

Are you listening to the most important person in your life: YOU? — The VICTUS Method

If the answer’s “no”…

What’s the Solution? The VICTUS Method.

Victus is the pen name I chose for my writing.

But, more than that, it’s a way of life.

©️ Marisa Victus, All Right Reserved.

Yes, read that again, slowly this time: Vita est pro victus.

Now, repeat after me:
• Life is for living.
• The way YOU want to.
• The way YOU choose to.
• Without denying entire parts of yourself.
• Without accepting the boxes people put you in.

That’s why the VICTUS Method works.
Because you tailor it based on your preferences, and what works specifically for you.

Just imagine: SYNERGY in every aspect of your life.

Not just in your job, but in your heart, body, and soul.

Every week, I will be writing, describing the practices and systems that have helped me, and exploring new methods, to see if they’re effective, too.

If you, too, want to enjoy more joy, flow, and creativity in your life, then subscribe to my free Newsletter.

Together, we’ll apply the science-backed methods we can use to create more Synergy in our lives.

Because we can all be happier.

We just have to look back at our younger selves and say, “I see you.”

Let’s invite them to become one with who we are, and who we’re still growing up to be.

Happiness is Found In Synergy.
Happiness is the Wholeness That’s Inside of You.
— The VICTUS Method

You can be the creator and HERO of our own life, and bring imagination, synergy, and freedom to everything you do. Together, we’ll explore not only where we’ve been, but where we’re going, and most importantly why.
We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple practices that will enliven our emotions and foster a greater depth of Self.
— Marisa Victus

Marisa Victus is an Attorney, Author, and Artist. To learn more about her book series, THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES, visit www.marisavictus.com. Book 1 is available here on Kindle Unlimited, if you enjoy reading fast-paced fiction with covert ops and a new Homo sentient species that’s knocked us off the top of the food chain. Books 2 + 3 are about to be released! Join the celebration, get FREE Advance Reader Copies & other fun Goodies by signing up for the Book Mailing List here!