FUN & FLOW's Better than Being a Perfectionistic Curmudgeon
Where's the HELLO KITTY in your life?!
Remember, My RECIPE for Happiness?
In last week’s POST, I gave you my Recipe for Happiness.
POP QUIZ!
What was Ingredient #2?
🌸 Be playful!
OMG, how incredibly LONG it took me to do this.
Seriously, I am rage-crying at myself for taking so god-damn LONG to get here. 😭🥹
Why?
Because I think of ALL the years I wasted being too serious.
Too stuffy.
Too miserable.
Looking back, I try to give myself grace, because I was raised by Perfectionists.
To not only get the A but, if there was any extra credit, well I better earn all of it, to get that A+.
Did it stop when I graduated from college?
When I went to law school?
When I became an Attorney?
Nope.
It morphed.
The Pitbull Partner became my new measuring stick.
“Are you like him?” I subconsiously asked myself.
“Do you have what it takes to be successful, like he is?”
Ignoring the fact that I despised his personality and mean-spirited temperament, that’s what was on my mind.
Because he appeared to be what would make me a successful Attorney, too.
It took me five minutes to see that his personal life sucked. He was miserable. On his fourth marriage. Soon to be divorced, yet again.
And, ultimately, less than a year for me to see that there were better ways to practice law.
I only had to see a far more intelligent Partner practice to see the light at the end of that tunnel.
Seeing better ways of Being was the path forward.
Was it easy?
Absolutely not!
Because…
My Upbringing made me A Perfectionistic Curmudgeon.
I realized this slowly.
And in the subtlest of ways.
Take my iPhone for example.
For YEARS, I only allowed myself to buy something “Professional.”
Something “sensible.”
Something that was Grey.
Or Black.
In other words, DULL.
My Inner Child had other plans.
I grew up OBSESSED with Hello Kitty.
I could go into a Sanrio store and get lost in all the cute little toys and stationary and stamps and key chains for HOURS.
I loved all the characters.
I wanted one of absolutely everything!
And yet, my Inner Critic whispered…
You’re a “Grown Adult” now.
“A Serious Attorney.”
“A Litigator.”
“A Negotiator.”
“A Counselor.”
I had to exude not only confidence and legal prowess, but Seriousness.
The kind that had to be dressed in a Power-Suit.
All the while, my Inner Child longed for something Sanrio.
Sanrio was my Creativity.
It was my Personality.
It was what I adored and loved.
The same way I’m in love — and will forever love — Creative Writing. Art. Music.
Everything changed when the Zealous Advocate I was trained to be, started to FINALLY advocate for my Authentic Self!
“Don’t do it!” they warned me. “You WON’T be seen as a Serious Attorney!”
Listening to them for YEARS was my biggest mistake.
I fractured my Self when I hid all of my Creative pursuits.
Until one day, I realized, “This suffering isn’t worth it.”
My body pained me with migraines, depression, and anxiety, until I declared “No more!” and realized,
I needed to advocate for my SELF!
I let loose My Inner Hello Kitty! RAWR!
I LET GO of the Limiting Belief that I had to change who I am to be successful, respected, or loved.
I learned that there’s tremendous Power when we allow our True Self to be seen.
And I found FREEDOM!
In wearing PINK.
Yup! That’s how it started. So very, very small.
Until it morphed into so much more.
Wearing pink and every color imaginable, something bright and bursting with joy, each and every day.
So much so, strangers who see me often will come up to compliment me and say, “That pink you wear? That’s your signature!”
They ask me, “Where do you buy your pink lipstick?” I tell ‘em and they buy it for themselves.
And — it warms my heart! — when I see all my friends who mostly wear black excited to show me they’re wearing bright bursts of color! “We match!” they exclaim, with massive smiles.
It’s just COLOR, but for our spirit, it’s INVIGORATING!
Together, we revel in the freedom — the FUN & FLOW — we gain from LIVING, carefree!
YES, in this most subtlest of ways, we get to be free from the confines of a society that tell us that you can only be successful, respected, and/or loved if you behave / dress / talk / exist in a certain type of way.
And it makes you wonder…what other silly Limiting Beliefs am I allowing?
Are they helping me to TRULY LIVE my life?!
We can QUESTION our Inner Critic.
We can ask:
Who are we performing for?
Who are we living for?
Who are we masking for?
I’ve stopped hiding who I am. See?
Now, take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:
⭐️ Are you happy living in the shadows?
⭐️ Or, are you shining bright, in the light?
⭐️ Is your Spirit bursting full of color?
⭐️ Are you allowing your Truest, Most Authentic, Self to be seen?!
Take it from me, there’s so much to be gained when you stop living like the shell of who you are.
Embrace the REAL YOU.
Live Authentically.
STOP pretending you’re happy.
START being happy.
The Hello Kitty in me honors & respects the Hello Kitty in each of you,
Marisa
⭐️ Remember, you don’t have to have all of the answers. ⭐️
⭐️ And you don’t have to figure it out all alone, on your own. ⭐️
You’re welcome to join us in my
This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.
It’s the perfect way to
Share Our Recipes for Happiness:
Have fun together;
Share our triumphs;
Vent from time to time — we're human after all!
Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,
Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):
With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.
And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!
So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…
Share Our Joy (experience Connection with a kind & supportive Creative Community):
This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.
If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!
Here’s what we’ve been up to in the STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT! ☕️🍵 !
It’s WEEK #2 of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron: Recovering a Sense of Identity.
I love how JC warns us about the common pitfalls all Creatives encounter when they embark on their journey of self-discovery & creative expression.
What makes it so refreshing is how she normalizes all the challenges:
• It’s normal to have an Inner Critic who needles you with little mental digs, to undercut the progress you’re making.
• It’s normal to be misguided, distracted, and sometimes completely thwarted by other people who are Blocked Creatives themselves.
• It’s normal to be targeted by Crazymakers who try to pull us into their storm centers.
• It’s normal to have an Inner Skeptic who doesn’t accept or is quick to dismiss the creative opportunities that come to us.
• It’s normal to Daydream of the past or of the future, rather than focus on what’s possible in the present moment.
I find it helpful to Normalize all these challenges.
⭐️ Don’t you?
It makes me realize that facing any of these challenges and the related feelings of discomfort, avoidance, annoyance or fear are not defects. They’re simply part of the design.
They’re steps on the journey that most, if not all of us, will face from time to time. And that’s perfectly okay.
Even better? Coming together as a community of Creatives — among other Writers and Artists like you! — who “get it.” It’s freeing to realize we’re not alone in our struggles. It’s normal to have doubts, even normal to want to run for the hills!
But what we must not do is give up.
I feel stronger with the support of you all here. I hope I can encourage you to keep going, while I do the same.
⭐️ What about you?
⭐️ Please share your thoughts.
⭐️ Did anything from Chapter 2 or even Chapter 1 resonate with you?
Let’s support each other in the Chat!
If it’s not your cuppa tea/coffee/chai/matcha/whatevs,
Please Note:
For anyone who does not wish to participate in the Study, Savor, & Support each other CHAT, no problemo!
I will still publish my Newsletter, M&Ms, Sing-Along Storytime, Music, Videos, Science Fiction writing, & more!
If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to send me a DM.
Have a fantastic weekend!
The Creative in me honors & respects the Creative in each of you,
Marisa
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Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.
We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are. And…
We’ll combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will supercharge our self-improvement & give us unstoppable self-belief!
When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:
(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,
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I’m building my own Mindset & Meditation (M&M) Community, so we can all invest in our truest, most Authentic Self.
🌸 Every day, I write ✍️1 handwritten✍️ M&M (Mindset & Meditation) Note.🌸
🧘🏻♀️If you want to grow with me, repeat these daily affirmations like I am.🧘🏻♀️
🙌Let’s entrain our brains to adopt these empowering beliefs.🙌
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I like how real and inspiring this essay feels. Marisa your story shows the freedom in letting go of perfectionism and embracing creativity, it’s a warm reminder to live fully as ourselves. Thanks.
Thanks much for sharing, @philandmaude!